Archive for October, 2010

Wonderful Music

Melody Gardot:


There is a life before us, and a life after us.

I just realized that before me, before I was born, there was this… whole world. This whole existence. My mother and father, they went through decades of life and experience before I ever entered this universe. My father was almost 39, my mother, 34. That’s nearly half a life lived before I ever had my first breath. And now, I have a nephew, and it’s like, life is imitating itself again. I was once an infant, getting all the attention. And now that’s long past me and I’m an adult. Now, it’s his turn to get favoritism, and affection, and getting his driver’s license, and feeling a girl up for the first time, and college parties. Wow, his life is going to be amazing! And one day I’ll grow real old. And one day, so will he. And we’ll become our grandparents. Relics. Memories. And one day, we won’t even be memories. We’ll just be that old black and white photo in the attic no one ever looks at.  Damn it. When I put it that way, it just makes you want to kill yourself, doesn’t it?

Movie theaters

I once worked at a movie theater. I was so cool the first week. I was new. They hadn’t had a new guy in months. This black guy who likes karate movies and wants to be Chris Tucker seemed like a nice guy to get to know. I told him I worked on movie sets in the past. He was so thrilled. Ran after me to ask questions. “I think im gonna like working with you”, he said. this girl, she was warm on me. Took an interest in me. I finally mustered up the nerve to ask her out. and guess what? She shot me down! Wow! I was sooo stunned. I was like what? How can you say no? what the hell is wrong with you? cocktease! I thought all these things obviously ,didn’t say them out loud. Anyway 1 month went by, I hated it. It was beneath me. Then after a few months, I embraced it.

Listening to closing credits music all the time and selling overpriced popcorn to a bunch of yuppies all day? I loved it. Okay. The pay was lousy. But I talked about movies with my co-workers and looked at hot chicks all day. That cant be a bad job. Meeting famous people every week, that was pretty cool too. Those were the “glory days.” In a way.

Di Fara Pizza

Finally had pizza from world famous Di Fara’s tonight. Verdict: Hm, its tough to say. The pizza is good, but not mind blowing like so many have said. I hear you have to wait in line for like 2 hours to get a pie, but the man said 10 minutes. Anyway, got my pizza to go, and it was pretty good. Very cheesy, very oily, and very pricey. $5 for a slice. Can you believe that? And the slice is really small too. Two of Di Fara’s slices is like one slice everywhere else in New York. Well, anyway, you got to try everything at least once in this life. That’s my motto.


A Story

The scariest dream I ever had was the one where I lived forever. For hundreds and hundreds and thousands of years. And eventually, civilization comes to an end. God decides to eliminate humans once again, even though He promised He never would again, He does anyway. But right before He does, He comes down from the heavens and kneels down before me. He begins to talk but only I can hear him. He whispers in my ear, just a whisper, even though it was loud enough, and He says ‘you’re the only one who understands me’. Because no one knows the past. No one knows what God has had to endure. No one has that kind of information except for Him and me. And I was cast out. The first few hundred years were okay, I got to see a lot of unique things and bed a lot of beautiful women. But then humans stopped looking like humans. After a few hundred years, they began looking like animals, like filth! And I was looked upon as an alien. No one ever figured out why. So on that last day of the world, I whispered back to Him, ‘You’re the only one who understands me too’. And then the world went black, and it went silent. And God did something that humans do for a third of their entire existence. He went to sleep.

Old people

When a person gets old, like really old, they don’t know what the fuck is going on around them. They just know that they’re borderline incoherent. And there’s no chance of ever going back to being normal. So they’re walked around. Clothed. Unclothed. Bathed. Shaved. Shifted around. Picked up. Carried. Sat down. Moved around. Twisted. Turned. Shoved. Pushed. Cared for. Caressed. Dressed. Showered. Washed. Changed. Made up. Made down. Put down. Sat up. Cleaned. Turned. Shifted. Dried. Dressed up. Moved around. Taken care of. They can’t function alone. They don’t see their spouses. They can’t touch them. They don’t even know where they are. But they know they’re around somewhere. Somewhere close. The woman had memorized her husband’s smell over the course of 50 years together. She could recognize his scent a mile away. Women are like beagles sometimes. But then one day, she no longer feels his movements. Nor does she smell his scent. She knows, he’s gone. And he’s never returning. So, soon after he dies, she simply gives up. And slowly, dies herself.