Archive for April, 2011

The Next World

Everyone is unhappy…

At some point, it hits you. There is something not quite right with this world. Everyone experiences that moment. Sometimes at a young age. Sometimes, at an old age, sometimes no age at all. And you die not knowing the full truth of this world.

When you die, there’s three different portals you go to. The ones who know the truth and believe it go into one part of the next world. The ones who knew but did not believe it, go into another. And the indifferent ones, the ones who never believed because they remained blind to the truth, they go into a sort of purgatory, an in-between world. It is not the pleasure that is Heaven, but it is also not the misery that is hell.


Death, Part II

I remember the day my grandfather died. And I went to the hospital with my mom and my brother. And my dad he was already there. In the hospital. He was… sitting in the waiting room. I came in. he wasn’t crying. He was tearing. He sat there. Alone. Thinking. Thinking of all the memories. All the times his father took him out. showed him how to drive a car. How to ask a girl out. gave him money for the date. Took care of him. Loved him. Disciplined him. Saw him off. Waved goodbye. Now… it was over. He was gone.

CBS, Facebook, TMZ

Yesterday, it was Atlantic Belland CBS and the Associated Press. And today it’s Facebook and Sprint and TMZ. Times change, people don’t. They might die, and then someone just like them, 40 years younger steps in and repeats the whole process. Is this what life is meant to resemble? It can’t be.


You’re nostalgic when you end something. When you complete something. No matter how much you hated it during, you miss it infinitely, afterward. Whatever it is. High school. College. A job. A car. A husband, a wife. You might hate school, you might despise your teachers, but when it’s over, you’re excited and anxious, at first. But then you miss them. You miss those teachers. You miss those fuckin’ assholes. Because you know that you will never see those people ever again as long as you’re alive. It dawns on you, and… it makes you sad.

Serial Killers

It’s unhealthy to discuss this or think about it. I’m disgusted at myself for even writing about it. But I am so overwhelmed right now with different feelings.

There are so many sick people out there. I wonder to myself every time I hear of some rape or murder or kidnapping, how the situation was born. Who is this killer and what are his motivations? Why do the innocent have to die? Why must the killers roam free for so long, sometimes evading capture altogether. Think about this: The Zodiac Killer, you know the one chronicled in that movie by David Fincher? He killed an estimated 35 people in 1969 and has never been caught. Then there’s Charles Manson, the deranged psychopath who orchestrated dozens of home break ins and murders. He now resides in a home for the mentally insane. He might be insane, but he’s also a great actor and has managed to fool the best of us for five decades.

Then there’s Pedro Alonso López, a man from Ecuador who killed an estimate 300 people. His sentence in his native country? 16 years. He got out in 14 due to good behavior. He was released in 1998 and he hasn’t been seen since. Nobody even knows if hes dead or alive. Most likely though, he’s on a desert island enjoying drinks and young women, all the while thinking he’s beaten God at the game of life.

There’s also Colombian born Luis Garavito. He confessed to 138 murders and got 22 years in prison for it. Because of some bizarre Colombian law that says you cant go to jail for more than 30 years, even though his sentence for the crimes came out to 1,853 years in prison, he’ll only serve 22. Should make for a nice neighbor when he gets out and moves into a new area.

So the questions is, how do these situations come about? How does God allow them to take place? If you don’t believe in God, then as Jeffrey Dahmer once said “Then what’s the point of trying to modify your behavior to keep it within acceptable ranges?” God probably allows it because we’ve done bad in this world and because he has to allow the psychopaths to exist, otherwise people will say we don’t have free will. Free will? What the hell is that anyway? What the fuck is FREE FUCKING WILL? Do you have any idea? Because I’m sure it doesn’t mean allowing some fucking dickless piece of shit to rape and kill hundreds of people and simply get off after 14 fucking years. Are you fucking kidding me? Doesn’t that kind of stuff just piss you off? And scare the hell out of you? For the killers, it didn’t scare them, it excited them. It made them ejaculate. It was like sex for them, but on a higher plain. Maybe the highest. Maybe killing is the highest of highs and so, they couldn’t refuse that feeling, that impulse.

I read somewhere that the purpose of creation and of this world is beyond human comprehension. Indeed. The murders of innocent people on a mass scale, something that has gone on for ages, is definitely beyond human comprehension.

This is funny

Wikipedia has a page entry for “List of murderers by number of victims.”



You know why religious people are always so happy?

Because they feel protected. More than others are. And it gives him confidence and it gives them a safety net and an excuse too, in a way. I wish I was that happy and confident.