Wasting your best years

I wasted away my years at college. I feel so ashamed. I feel like I just wasted God’s time. You know because I could have been a decent person with a real purpose and I was not that. I also could have been a party animal who just wanted to live, but I was not that either. I bounced around schools. Went to three different colleges in a 5 year span. Went to one school, then learned abroad, then came back and learned at different school, then transferred back to the first one. The whole transfer part probably occurred so I could meet her. Even though that was an ugly experience. Anyway college is a time you have to grow, to learn, to make mistakes, because you had 4 years to figure it out. That’s why so many are unhappy. 4 years go by and they need more time, time they don’t have. Its like you’re trying to solve a 90 second math equation in only 30 seconds of time. It’s hard! Anyhow, I didn’t grow very much in those college years. Didn’t live like I should have. Now, I’m trying to play catch up and its fucking impossible.

You know something, when you’re 17 or 18, you don’t even realize the time go by. It just passes and you don’t pay any attention to it. When adults tell you “relish this time! it won’t last forever”, you balk at them. But I didn’t balk at them. Because I was so ignorant, that I didn’t even stick around to hear the advice in the first place.

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